Why The Twilight Movie is SCREWED!
by WaterBendingRoxsSoxs5540
Summary: thanks for the reviews guys: there were some bad and some good but they all made me smile:
1. Chapter 1

Ok this isn't just a rant people!

This is a MUCH needed wakeup call!

You don't have to agree with me, just read it.

Because you should really look at these things and look at how much Stephanie has really let us as her loving fans down

So I don't hope you enjoy it really, just try and understand what I'm really saying here people!!

First go to this sight and look at the picture for a minute, then read.

/watch?vG1dXDk4p4Q&featurerelated

Character Flaws:

Emmet: ok in the book it says that Emmet is huggee!! Like a bear, Bella says!! If you look at the pic it shows Emmet as a fuckin midget, he's two inches taller than Rosalie, therefore they screwed him up.

Rosalie: ok she's a blonde, but I think Blake Lively could have done better than her. I mean it's not that she's ugly or nothing, but seriously!! In the book, Rosalie is supposed to be STUNNING, and her hair is supposed to be "flat" because Bella thinks about it. And also that she never wears makeup, but still looks beautiful, meaning the red lip stick is sooooo NOT Rose. It notes that. Therefore they screwed her up.

Esme: Oh Esme, motherly, kind, and beautiful, Esme…how much they TOTALLY SCREWED HER CHARACTER UP!! We all knew that she had soft brown hair and flawless skin, as Bella explains. And Bella says that she also looks very young, almost younger than Carlisle. In the movie, they used a lady who was way older then what Esme would really look like! Therefore they screwed her up.

Carlisle: OK, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED!! I DIDN'T THINK THAT IN THE BOOK BELLA EVER MENTIONED THIS GUY HAVING A FREAKIN COMB-OVER!! In fact, she talks about his FULL blonde hair, so where do they get te nerve to put someone with THAT HAIR in HIS place!! Seriously, Stephanie, did anything ever tell you to maybe say something and go against that?? SERIOUSLY!! And plus, neither him nor Esme had WRINKLES!! In fact, Bella says that they are still looking at least late twenties, so where do the WRINKLES fit in this?? Therefore they screwed him up.

Alice: OMG !! They couldn't of got this more wrong!! Alice is supposed to be very small, smaller than Bella. In one of the books it says that she's a mouse compared to Emmet. UH…APPARENTLY NOT! Cuz in the picture, she's STILL too BIG and TALL to really BE ALICE!! Alice is VERY VERY SMALL, like delicate, says Bella. And she didn't have freaking spiky hair for God's sake. She had more lengthy black hair. "Delicate from her features to her fingers" says Bella. And also she doesn't freaking wear a puffy blue tacky jacket. Seriously, what is with that?? Alice and Rosalie are in jackets and Esme's in a dress?? What, are they not good enough?? What is that saying?? In fact, everyone is wearing a jacket BUT her and Edward. WTF?? Therefore they screwed her up, ALSO.

Jasper: Oh boy, last time I read the whole series, which was not too long ago mind you, nowhere did it state that Jasper's hair was lengthy. And if you ask me he looks stupid, because though Bella didn't mention anything, how could you expect him to, when he was a human, to have THAT hair and still be able to fight? SERIOUSLY?? OMFG!! Didn't anyone think over the fucking cast?? And he's not ugly either. And if they forget his FAINT but still there scars so fucking help me…

Edward: And finally, Edward. Beautiful and shining Edward, strong, but average size, with hair that is SUPPOSED to slightly cover his eyes, as the book says. WELL APARENTLY WE'RE NOT GOING BY THE BOOK, IF THAT ONE WASN'T OBVIOUS!! Edward is supposed to be completely STUNNING!! Just like Rosalie, he is supposed to be really beautiful. They did a great job...up to the neck!! Well at least he has a penis, cuz making Renesmee would be very … difficult, without that. They could always get a stunt double though, like Orlando Bloom. I'm sure Bella wouldn't care.

Bella: And speaking of Bella, since she's now in the Cullen family, since Breaking Dawn, she can be included too, even if it's for Twilight. D

Well CONGRATS BELLS!! You finally did something without screwing it up ; You got casted right! Well I guess that really wasn't in your hands, though that might have done some good. But wow, I think they actually did an OK job casting Bella. Why? Because in the book it says that Bella is average, not too pretty, not very standing out. And that's what they made her. It was ingenious, but not one girl can carry a whole team. They are seriously going to have to do something on the computer to make them at least look like vampires, cuz the wrinkles and kinky coats just won't fly ladies and gents.

So thanks for reading, and I hope you really looked at what I've written and see what I'm talking about.

Thanks tons, and remember…

No matter how much this movie is SCREWED UP!! ..

We still have our Stephanie to WRITE MORE!! D

Thanks, Steph. I hope the cast falls into a lake or river, so you can do this right the second time around. But keep writin, cuz we love ya!

-B


	2. Chapter 2

Ok I see how some people might disagree and agree but really people. Some of the reviews I've gotten back are just weird.

Like one said: "But it's like we were saying - where are you gonna find anyone that stunning in real life?"

Ok I understand that, but I mean I didn't mean stunning VAMPIRE wise, I meant HUMAN wise smart ones. I know that there are NO vampires anywhere, or at least none that are admitting it soon enough. All I'm saying is that maybe they could have picked…pretty people? Just saying.

Another wrote: What is your problem?! Really, what kind of sick deluded mind do you have? Just because they aren't how you imagined them doesn't mean you should sentence them to death! "I hope the cast falls in a river?!" Seriously, how cold hearted could you get? There is no way that they can get their looks perfectly.

Ok, whoever wrote this had some issues. I didn't REALLY want those people to die, it's a figure of speech. Or as some would call it a joke? And it's not what I want them to look like, it's like taking Alice and giving her blonde hair or changing Emmet's short hair to long. Just because it'd be super hot if Emmet grew out his hair, and it doesn't show that in the movie, I'll get mad. It's that few of the characters follow what Stephanie wrote. When you compare the girl who's playing Alice and the guy who's playing Emmet, you have to think about the height, of course. I'm sure there were PLEANTY of people who looked like an Emmet AND were tall AND could act. I mean tons of people tried out. Same case with Alice, I'm sure there were plenty of girls who were small enough and could act. And even if they didn't LOOK like them there's always the magic of makeup and hair dye people!! DUH!

Another said: Obviously the actors are not going to look exactly how you imagined them, that would be impossible. I'm disappointed with a couple of the actors too but about it won't help anything.

Ok first of all, I'm not bitchin, I'm just stating what I believe. Not bitchin. Second of all, I didn't want them to look like I imagined them, I wanted them to look like the characters IN THE BOOK. Because I don't have to imagine, it says everything in the book about the characters. DUH!!

So thanks to all the people who agreed with me. Again, wasn't looking for people to agree, just trying to send a message to those who care. I will see the movie and when I do I'll probably share my opinion on it. Cuz this is AMERICA, chicas, it's a free damn country. ;


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